My first week back was difficult, but the last few days have been harsh. Apparently, the Giardia in my system did not rid themselves in SE Asia. So, I have been fighting the stomach and GI issues all weekend and for the past couple of days. I can honestly say that this is the worst pain I have EVER felt in my entire life. I have attempted to not whine about my pain and act as if everything is fine, but all that has gotten me is a numerous outpouring of individuals willing to donate their supply of Imodium AD to me. As if I hadn't thought of that!!!! I am singing the praises of my professor, who is a nurse, as she continues to check in on me. I think she is the only one who knows the severity and pain associated with this lovely pet that is in my gut! THANK YOU SUSAN!!! I haven't totally lost faith in humanity, or shall I say the humanity that is of those who are closest in my life!
So, I guess people were right. Time is priceless in coming to terms with the end of an adventure. Time to think, to cope, to cry, to sleep and to heal. Time to visualize my new beginning and the light at the end of the tunnel. Time to focus on how to fit back into a place where I didn't quite fit in the first place.
You know what helps immensely? Connecting with those who were right there with me on the trip. Sharing inside jokes and anecdotes. Sharing pictures and stories and updates. Keeping in touch with the girls who we know as the V-Riders! Knowing that soon our emails will fade, the time between connecting with them will grow wider and that possibly the loss of contact with some of the wonderful people that we share memories with is inevitable. Understanding this is just as important as trying to gain closure to the experience that we just enjoyed and endured. All I can do is smile....no matter who doesn't get my inside jokes or who can not share in the simple joys of everyday miracles. Deep down I have this growth in my heart that I feel I share with many who traveled with me. We have that connection and it doesn't matter that others do not. That is what makes it special; it was our experience and I will forever smile knowing that. I love you guys - I miss you!!
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3 comments:
good luck Vietnam
Well spoken wheatgerm... "good luck Vietnam," indeed. I have seen the up side and the down side of Ashley's transition. From illness, fatigue and confusion to rejuvination, calmness and clarity.
...and am here to say that I am truly supportive of any changes, moves and goals that Ashley wants to make. It is very tough for her to "fit in" where she often felt she did not. I feel that many people saw this as just a short month out of someones life for a vacation or get-away. However, this is so much more. This isn't about trying to have an ego about what she has seen or done. This isn't about trying to change the world all by herself. This isn't about not wanting to live in America. This is about someone figuring out that they are meant for more. This is about someone feeling accepted and part of something. Despite the bookend illnesses, this was an "amazing opportunity" that went beyond a class, a vacation or even an adventure.
I see Ashley's life journey as a view through a once clean windshield that has gotten smudged, dirty and covered in bugs over the years. She once could see what she wanted to do and be, but over time that vision has become blurred by trying to fit in, trying to make others happy and trying to be what she thought others wanted her to be. This trip is like a new set of wiperblades for her windshield. She can now see where she is going and realizes she may have taken some wrong roads to get where she is going, but she now has a clear view and a map to get back on the right road. This is just me talking and this is not a rewording of anything Ashley has said. I just know she is meant for so much more and can do so much good.
You go girl!
Ashley, Hope you're feeling better. Talked to your mother and she said that you emailed me ??? ... nothing has appeared in my in box .. if that got returned, try ladnohr@adelphia.net ... aol isn't always reliable ...thinking about ya ... rhonda
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